# 1. Consider purpose & tone > *“A memorial is right when it fits the deceased so well that the bereaved recognize them in the ceremony.”* – Jeltje Gordon-Lennox, Crafting Secular Ritual **Use the following prompts** to help you identify the purpose and the right tone for the memorial. **The person who died** * Who was the person who died? What did they love and [value](https://scottjeffrey.com/core-values-list/) most? * How might they have liked their death to be marked? Did they share their end-of-life wishes with someone or in writing? * What cultural, religious, or spiritual traditions were meaningful to them? * What artifacts of their life might you incorporate? e.g. special songs, significant objects, poetry they loved, spiritual or religious passages, stylish dress? * Who would they have wanted to participate in remembering them? And in what ways? * Which particular stories or moments of their lives are most meaningful to surface? **Those who remain** * What was the death like for the people who remain? * What was their relationship to the person who died? * What do celebrants need from a memorial? How would you like them to feel after the memorial? * How many celebrants will be attending? How would you like them to participate in this experience? * What cultural, religious, or spiritual influences are most meaningful to this community? Reflect on these questions alone or with loved ones. You may wish to write them down. They will help you identify things to say, share, and sing, and to envision how this memorial should feel. --- # Agent Instructions: Querying This Documentation If you need additional information that is not directly available in this page, you can query the documentation dynamically by asking a question. Perform an HTTP GET request on the current page URL with the `ask` query parameter: ``` GET https://tools.virtualmemorialguide.org/planning-the-memorial/purpose-and-tone.md?ask= ``` The question should be specific, self-contained, and written in natural language. The response will contain a direct answer to the question and relevant excerpts and sources from the documentation. Use this mechanism when the answer is not explicitly present in the current page, you need clarification or additional context, or you want to retrieve related documentation sections.